so you want to talk about gender

hi! i’m non-binary and use they/them pronouns. for a longer, more general explanation about they/them pronouns, check out this website.

non-binary means different things for different people — in my case, it’s that i don’t feel a man or a woman. by writing this page, by saying i’m non-binary, by putting my pronouns on my website, the world’s perception of me comes into alignment with how i see myself.

if you mess up and use the wrong pronouns, you don’t need to make a big deal about it — i assume good intentions and that you’ve just made an honest mistake. however, i will correct you, and ask that you be more mindful moving forward. relatedly, if you hear someone using the wrong pronouns, i’d greatly appreciate if you let them know. you can do this regardless of whether or not i’m around — it means a lot when other people help out with this.

on a related note, please do use my name — phi — and not any other names you may have known me as before. when trans people change their name, it’s much like when someone decides that they want to go by a nickname or change their last name after marriage — it’s just that this one is associated with gender identity. the things about pronouns also apply to names: i’ll correct you if you happen to use the wrong name, and i’d appreciate your help in informing/correcting others!